Todd and I rushed over to my new apartment. There I found a very angry Dr. D.
“What the hell is this, Charlene? I specifically told you to come alone!”
I stepped back a little. He was TOTALLY scary when he got mad.
“T-Todd just came for moral support, Dr. D. I mean…who knew what I’d find and…”
Dr. Day shoved me out of the way and pushed Todd.
“Out! Now! And don’t come back until I say so.”
Todd gave me a sheepish look and stumbled out the door.
“My God, Dr. D, what the hell is going on?” I asked.
“Follow me,” he said as if he’d just attended a funeral.
“Oh no…it couldn’t be…”
“It is.” Dr. Day headed toward the bathroom door and everything added up. Honestly, I had blissfully totally forgotten about it because YES I was a guy right now.
When I entered, I had to stifle a laugh. Dr. Day must have bought out the whole drugstore. I’d never seen so many different kinds of pads, tampons, and even period cups!
He buckled over as if a cramp shot through him.
“Are you okay, Dr. D? I mean the first two days are the worst but you’ll get through it.”
“I think one is permanently stuck. It won’t come out. I…um…need your help.”
I cocked my head. “You just use the little stringie thingie. Did you try that?”
He nodded and said, “It fell off and then I panicked and called you. It hurts now. I think I’m suffering from toxic shock syndrome!”
I rubbed his back. “No…you’re fine. I’ll help you out. If that happens, you just have to dig…” But then I stopped myself. Did I really WANT Dr. D digging around there? Like HELL NO!
So, I performed the unsticking procedure. He grimaced and moaned the whole time. You’d think I was doing surgery on him. Men were such babies. God! We had to suffer the monthly curse almost our whole lives. He suffered once and you’d think the world was coming to an end.
I fucking wanted my body back. NOW. Why the hell did that dickwad genie do this to me? What sadistic pleasures did he get by turning a man into a woman? Now I understood what women went through every single month. It wasn’t fair. Pain throbbed in my back and stomach and even down my legs. All I wanted to do was lay around. And what was worse, I wanted to lash out at everyone and everything.
After I retired for a bit, Charlene came in and checked on me. She was being so sweet and understanding. But I wasn’t appreciating her intrusions for some reason. In fact, her being so nice irritated me.
“Dr. D, please get out of bed. I made you something that will help take the tension off.”
I finally did as she’d asked, but I wasn’t happy about it. “The only thing that will take the edge off would be if you stuck a knife in my pelvis and did a mercy killing.” Standing only worsened the pain.
She glared. “Dr. D, stop acting like a ginormous baby and eat these cookies. I promise, it’ll make you feel better.”
Against my better judgement, I ate one. And then I ate three. For some reason, I had a voracious appetite.
Feeling a bit better, I sat on the couch with her.
“See? I told you the cookies would help.”
My eyes turned to slits. “Nothing will help until I get my body back.”
“Okay, yeah, so like about that…Todd says he found a shaman guru guy who might be able to help us out. Like he may be able to perform some sort of voodoo type thing. Only problem is…we have to go to Sulani.”
“Yeah…that’s where the dude is. I figure why not? We haven’t been doing such a great job at breaking the curse on our own.”
“Hmm…” I said. “I’m not sure we should trust a ‘guru type guy’. What if he makes matters worse?”
“Look, Dr. D…what’s worse than you suffering my periods? I mean, like, I can handle them. I’ve had them for the past ten years, but men just don’t have the mental capacity like women do. So what do we got to lose?”
She had me there. I used to think men were tougher in emotions and strength, but now? I’d been living in my own dream world. Women were way stronger than men if they had to suffer silently like this every month. I couldn’t even imagine giving birth to a child. I looked at Charlene with a greater appreciation. “I wonder that you would want to go back to this body at all. You’re a braver person than I am.”
“Honestly, Dr. D, being a guy isn’t all that fun. You have to hide your dick constantly when it decides to have a mind of its own. Seriously, that gets old.”
That made me laugh. “Yes, I guess you’re right about that.”
She gave me a playful look. “Now that we’ve decided we hate living in each other’s bodies, how about we do something we both like?”
I was intrigued. “Like what?”
She then suggested we have a Henry Puffer marathon. I hadn’t watched those movies since I was a kid. We made a bet that Lady Ravendancer Goth appeared in the second movie, but I knew she showed up in the first.
“What the hell?” Charlene shouted at the tv. “She’s in that mirror for one split second. That’s not fair, Dr. Day!”
I wiggled my eyebrows. “And now you have to do my laundry for one week.”
She pouted. “I hate laundry.”
After the third movie, we talked about Reed. I thought it’d be a good idea to tell him about what was going on. According to Charlene, the guy was basically in love with me, and I didn’t want him pining away needlessly.
So, the following day, we met up with him at my house. He glared at me. “You expect me to believe that nonsense? It’s just your feeble attempt to separate us.”
I then relayed the time that only I knew about when Reed accidentally sent me a dick pic. I’d never even told my brother about it.
He seemed to believe us then.
I cautioned him not to explain the situation to my brother. There was no sense in getting any of my family involved. Not yet, at least. I’d decided this was our last chance. If the Sulani guru couldn’t help us then no one could. I’d then tell my whole family and try to get on with life as a woman.
Reed assured us that he could help find the shaman and he suggested he’d like to come along on the trip. I must admit, having him navigate the cliffs near the volcano relaxed me. He was a native, after all, and I didn’t want to be the lead in the search. Especially with Ginny’s memory looming over me like a specter. I’d taken a vow never to go back to Sulani again, but I was desperate.
Nervous jitters swept through me as we arrived at the Oasis Springs Airport.
Todd came along as well for moral support. (And because it was his idea.)
After we’d checked our bags and went through security, Todd said, “I’m going to get some snacks. I’ll be right back.”
Just then, Reed came up to Charlene.
“Charlie, I’ve got a double chocolatte mocha for you, darling. Your favorite.”
She lifted the side of her mouth. “Aww…you remembered from our date. Thanks, Reed.”
It was good to see how Reed was embracing the fact that Charlene was residing in my body and that the break up wasn’t her fault. “I think I’d like some coffee, too, Reed. Where did you get it?” I asked, looking around.
He blocked my way and thrust a finger in my face. “Ohhh, don’t think for a minute I’m going to help you out, you little hoe. Liam might be put under your spell, but I’m not that stupid to believe any of your lies. I’m only going along with this charade so when your tricks don’t work, I’ll take Liam home and get him some help.”
Damn. I should have known that no one but Todd would believe us. And who could blame him? “Fine, Reed. You’ll find out the reality of the situation soon enough.”
“Whatever, bitch. Just stay clear of us once we get back from this trip or I’ll report your ass to the dean and get you expelled. Hypnotising unsuspecting people is against the law.”